Why I Am Designed To Be a Speaker.
Having spent nearly the last decade of my life working with one of the greatest speakers and thought-leaders of our time, Simon Sinek, one would think I would run far - far - far away from any profession having to do with being a public speaker of any kind. Why in the world would I take up a profession where I could even remotely be compared to him and his unmistakable genius? That’s like Dr. Spock trying to be one of the greatest starship commanders in Star Fleet history. (Did I just show my age and nerdiness there?)
But here I am. A glutton for punishment. Climbing my way up the speaker circuit.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reminiscing about all the speaking events I’ve done, all the thousands and thousands I’ve attended, as well as all the people I’ve met over the years. This walk down memory lane got me thinking…WHY do I love speaking so much? I’m smiling just writing those words because it truly lights me up from my core.
Why can I not turn away from it when it’s been such a volatile industry during the pandemic? Why can I not stop flapping my gums when the pool of speakers is truly overflowing with talent? Why can’t I just take a job as a software coder or bitcoin inventor and call it a day?
Why?
Because I am predisposed to connect with this profession,
and it’s embedded deep inside my personality and strengths.
Let me explain.
Individually, we are a delicious amalgamation of our values, our personality, our life experiences, our top strengths, our bottom strengths (a.k.a. weaknesses), our communication habits, and our belief systems. We use these traits to our advantage when looking for a partner, when making friends, and when learning how to cope with stress. So why don’t we use this information when trying to find a job that we love?
Let me give you a personal example:
I often mention StrengthsFinder/Clifton Strengths as one of my favorite personality tests. From this, I learned that one of my top five strengths is “Activator.” This means I love turning thoughts into action and I love helping others do the same. I also have “Woo,” in my top five, meaning I love the challenge of meeting new people, breaking through their defenses, and making a true connection. One sentence from my report told me that “My ease of language enables me to meet, greet, and treat strangers as if they were already my friends.” Together, those strengths mean that I love people, especially those I do not know, and love helping people evolve into who they’ve always known they can be with actionable and achievable steps.
I’m also a screaming extrovert, meaning I get “charged” by other people. My energy bucket is filled when I’m around others, and I obviously have no problem using that energy to stand on a stage and make a complete fool of myself without a shred of embarrassment. I could have just finished climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro and if there were more than two people at the top of the mountain, I could probably find the energy to recite the Declaration of Independence.
I’m an Enneagram 8, so overwhelming people with my radical ideas, no-nonsense candor, and vulnerability really isn’t a stretch for me.
Oh, and I loooooooooove to talk.
It’s no wonder I chose a profession that can help me do ALL of that, while still challenging me to be a better version of myself every day.
In “knowing myself,” I can then know my “happy place.” This is the space and place in which I am in alignment with my true self. This is where all the goodies we have within us are utilized and appreciated. This is where we don’t have to “flex” to try and be like someone else, where we can just be who we are without fear of judgment or retribution.
If I were looking for a job, I should seek out something that helps me amplify my strengths. For me, that would be a job where I can work hard and have measurements for my success, where I can be around others regularly, where I can affect real change, and where there are clearly defined timelines or parameters.
It is my responsibility to find a job that can exercise and sharpen my strengths.
IT IS NOT SOMEONE ELSE’S RESPONSIBILITY TO GIVE THAT TO ME.
Please read that again.
So often we take jobs that don’t fit us, making us unhappy and unfulfilled with every waking moment. We blame it on external things or other people, when deep down we know that we are not aligned with the organization in some way. We ignore our gut instincts. We’re grumpy, selfish, and unmotivated at work. We “bark” and “snap".” We push through because we think this is what work is – an 8-hour tunnel of misery and pain, bookended by self-loathing, anxiety, and avoidance.
And we most certainly love to blame others for our lot in life.
I’m sorry to burst the bubble here, but none of that is true and you CAN find a job you love, even in a pandemic. Work CAN fit us like SPANX if we simply take the time to understand what our values are, what comes naturally to us, where our tendencies lie, and what skills we want to amplify. Then we look at the companies and people that share those values, that allow us the ability to show off our skills, that has the company culture that both supports us and stretches us to grow, and most importantly, that NEED what we HAVE.
The lesson here is accountability - for you to create the life that your biology and personality require - based on when you’re operating at your natural best.
BONUS: Knowing your juicy makeup can also send out an internal warning signal when you are not in line with your strengths or values. This is called “feeling out of balance.” For me, even though I was completely aligned with Simon Sinek’s company and its ideals, when I would sit in brainstorming meetings for hours and hours to “knock around ideas,” with no outcome, no 10-point plan, and no list of 20 tasks to do when I left, it was like torture for me. My palms would sweat, my knees would bounce, and my attention span would waver. And, often, I would feel aggravation and annoyance creep up my body like an internal tidal wave, eliciting those charming and involuntary eye rolls.
That was never fun for any of us. Luckily, we can short circuit that irritation! Because I knew myself so well, when I had to participate in one of those meetings for a project I was working on, and suddenly felt stressed or aggravated while listening to someone wax philosophical, then I could recognize what’s happening in the moment and instead of pointing a finger at something else externally, I can go within and know that I’m just not in alignment with my strengths. I can take a big yoga breath, understand that this is not my time to shine, and then I can just let it go.
This is just one way for YOU to take control of YOUR life. I urge you to take personality tests, listening tests, communication courses, or whatever else that will give you a peek into what ingredients makeup YOU. It will help you make friends, have less stress, value yourself more, communicate better, and, of course, find a job that you love.
And so…
It doesn’t matter where you start, the important thing is to just start!
