Understanding Miscommunication: What is it and how to prevent it.

Miscommunication in the workplace is like a silent saboteur, quietly undermining productivity, relationships, and job satisfaction.

In recent years, an increasing number of professional roles involve acting as the linchpin between various teams, leaders, and external partners. In those cases, effective communication is not just a skill—it’s a necessity. Yet, despite our best intentions, miscommunication happens more often than we’d like to admit. It’s the moment when instructions get lost in translation, when an email is misinterpreted, or when you thought you were crystal clear, only to realize later that nothing happened as planned.

But why does this happen? And more importantly, how can we prevent it?

The Communication Cycle: More Than Just Words

At the heart of every interaction lies a fundamental truth: communication is not just about what we say, it’s about how it’s received. So often, we speak to others as if we’re speaking to ourselves. As if the other person will understand what we’ve said EXACTLY the way we intended, using the same definitions, experiences, cultural and familial references, and history of successful (or not-so-successful) interactions in the past.

Imagine communication as a game of catch. You throw the ball—your message—expecting the other person to catch that ball exactly as you designed it. But here’s the catch (pun intended): they’re catching your ball through their own unique filter, shaped by their definitions, experiences, background, mood, and even their relationship with you or what you represent.

This is where things get tricky. You might think you’re being clear, but what the other person hears could be entirely different.

This is the essence of the communication cycle:

The Message You Build and Send: This includes the words you choose, your tone, and your non-verbal cues (yes, even the slightest eyebrow raise can fundamentally change the meaning of your message).

The Message They Receive: This is influenced by the listener’s filters—everything from their cultural background, their level of education, their personal narrative…all the way to what they had for breakfast.

Their Response: Based on their interpretation of your message, they send a message back to us.

Each time the ball is passed back and forth, it gets reshaped, like a lump of clay.

Miscommunication occurs when there’s a disconnect between what was intended and what was understood.

Common Causes of Miscommunication

Understanding the root causes of miscommunication is the first step toward prevention. Here are a few common culprits:

Assumptions and Expectations:

We often assume others know what we mean, share our priorities, or understand our shorthand. “Everyone should know that ‘ASAP’ means ‘by the end of today,’ right? Doesn’t everyone know how busy I am??” Not necessarily. Assumptions are fertile ground for misunderstandings. Expectations are premeditated disappointments.

Vague Language:

Using imprecise words or organizational jargon can lead to confusion. Terms like “handle it,” “soon,” or “get back to me” are open to interpretation. Same with “We need you to be more engaged” or “To step up as a leader.”  These words mean different things to different people. You cannot get aggravated that someone didn’t follow your instructions if your instructions were blurry and incomplete. Clarity is key.

Lack of Active Listening:

We’re all guilty of this—nodding along while our minds are elsewhere, already planning our response. We insert our ego into the mix, convinced we “already know what they are going to say.”  Active listening means fully engaging with the speaker, seeking to understand before being understood. Calvin Coolidge famously said, “No one ever listened himself out of a job.”

Emotional Triggers:

Emotions can cloud our judgment and skew our interpretation of messages. If you’re stressed or upset, you might read a neutral email as hostile or a simple request as a demand. Also if you’re stressed or upset, you might send a neutral email as hostile, without even trying. Ambrose Bierce says, “Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

Misplaced Focus:

Remember that communication cycle above? When the other person sends a message back to us, if the meaning has been misinterpreted, we may end up focusing on the misunderstood message rather than the original message we intended. Then we send out a message to them about the misinterpretation, growing in frustration. Then they respond to our misinterpreted message about the misinterpretation. See where I’m going with this?

Strategies to Prevent Miscommunication

Preventing miscommunication requires intentional effort from YOU. 

We cannot control how others react, so we must control the only thing we really have control over - how we speak, how we act, and how we look when we are speaking or acting.  Here are some actionable strategies you can implement immediately:

Clarify and Confirm:

After delivering a message, don’t assume it’s understood. Ask for confirmation: “Just to make sure we’re on the same page, could you repeat what you’ve understood from this?” Or, “In conclusion, your next step is to reach out to the client, and my next step is to tell the Executive Team about what is happening. Is that what you concluded as well?” It’s not about doubting the other person’s intelligence; it’s about ensuring alignment. (Make sure your non-verbals aren’t telling them that you actually do doubt their intelligence!)

Be Specific:

Replace vague language with clear, actionable instructions. Instead of saying, “Get back to me soon,” try, “Please send me the report by 3 PM tomorrow.” Instead of “We need you to be more engaged,” try, “Here are the five specific things we’d like to see from you in the following month.” Specificity leaves little room for misinterpretation.

Practice Active Listening:

Engage fully in conversations. This means putting away distractions (yes, that means your phone and your grocery list and your ego telling you that you know what they are going to say before they say it). Make eye contact, focus your attention, and give verbal and non-verbal feedback like nodding or summarizing what you’ve heard. Stephen Covey wisely noted, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Break this habit by focusing on understanding first.

Acknowledge Emotional States:

Recognize when emotions might be influencing communication. If the other person is in a heightened emotional state, it might be best to pause and revisit the conversation later when you can both approach it more calmly. If you are in a heightened emotional state, trust me, don’t even start the conversation. Go take a walk, do some breathing exercises, pet your dog (or cat, if you’re a “childless cat lady” 🙄), hold plank…do what your body needs to calm your nervous system.

Reassess Your Motive:

When misunderstandings happen, focus your attention on clarifying your original message so that the other person DOES understand what you mean. Don’t get wrapped up in an argument about the misunderstood message. It is a total waste of time and energy and won’t get you one step closer to the goal you imagined.

The Role of Self-Awareness

Perhaps the most crucial element in preventing miscommunication is self-awareness. Knowing your communication style, triggers, and tendencies allows you to adjust and improve your interactions.

Are you often misunderstood because you speak too quickly, too softly, or too abruptly? Do you tend to use jargon that others might not understand?  Have you been accused of not listening and “moving too fast before you have all of the information?”  By recognizing these patterns, you can work on them and become a more effective communicator.

Final Thoughts

Miscommunication is inevitable, but it’s not insurmountable. By being mindful of how we communicate—by actively listening, seeking clarity, and acknowledging our own biases—we can minimize misunderstandings and create a more harmonious and productive workplace. Remember, every conversation is an opportunity to build trust and rapport.

So, the next time you’re about to throw that communication ball, take a moment to consider how the other person might catch it.

And when in doubt, ask yourself: “Am I saying this in a way they need to hear it, or just in the way I want to say it?” The difference could make all the difference.