Assistants—Be a Farmer, Not a Bull
Dear Admin Pros Stepping into a New Role,
I know you’re a badass. Really.
I know that if you had the right attention, authority, and unwavering support from every single team member, you could revolutionize the place in 90 days. I know that if people just listened to you, you could streamline processes, eliminate inefficiencies, and turn the chaos into an elegant, well-oiled machine.
I know you’ve done it before.
I know executives often get in their own way—whether it’s the person you support or the team around them. I know you may have inherited a mess, and I know some of your colleagues have no clue what you actually do. They might not understand how you are both the right hand and the left hand to your executive, or how much your previous execs absolutely adored you. Some on your new team might even resent you because, for the last 5, 10, or 15 years, they had direct, unfiltered access to the boss—and now you are the gatekeeper.
I get it. I’ve been there.
But let me be blunt: There is a right way and a wrong way to enter a new administrative position—and the wrong way will tank your success before you’ve even unpacked your desk.
The Wrong Way: The Bull in a China Shop
While I was writing my blog for executives, "The Problem with Hiring an Assistant to ‘Tame the Chaos’," I kept thinking about how many times I’ve seen assistants themselves charge into a new role with that same "I’ll fix everything immediately" energy.
They come in, full speed ahead, determined to demand respect, rework systems, enforce boundaries, and "show everyone how it’s done." They assume their reputation precedes them—without realizing that, to most of the company, they are still unknown. They expect instant authority, instant trust, and instant influence.
I ask this with love: but, are you crazy?
I’m not proud of this, but I’ve been fooled by a bull before.
On paper, the candidate was perfect. In interviews, she said all the right things. Her experience was outstanding. She seemed like the dream candidate.
But by day 30, she was calling me, furious.
She felt the executive team was "disrespecting" her because they were still emailing the CEO directly instead of going through her.
She was frustrated that no one was adopting the new internal meeting structures she had suggested—immediately.
She was livid because an executive team member changed the font on the PowerPoint she created, and she took it as a personal insult.
And here’s the kicker: This CEO had never had an assistant before.
For six years, the CEO had handled everything herself. The entire leadership team had no concept of what an EA did or how this role could improve their lives. They certainly didn’t need someone storming in and making them feel like they had been doing it wrong all along.
She was fired before she hit the 60-day mark.
Why? Because she charged in like a bull, knocking everything over, instead of taking the time to plant seeds and build relationships.
The Right Way: The Farmer
If you want long-term success in your new role, you have to think like a farmer, not a bull.
When a farmer plants crops, they don’t expect an immediate harvest. They observe the land, learn the soil conditions, understand the climate, and then decide what to plant, where, and when. They don’t just throw seeds down and scream at the ground, demanding things grow faster.
So what does this look like for you, the new EA?
Observe Before You Act
Your first priority is not to change everything—it’s to understand everything.
Learn the team dynamics. Who holds influence? Who resists change? Who’s open to collaboration?
Study your executive’s work style. Are they structured or spontaneous? Do they like a full agenda or quick updates? Do they like their team having full access to them?
Pay attention to why things are the way they are. Some systems might be inefficient, but they might also exist for a reason.
The best assistants don’t just come in and say, "This is broken. Let’s fix it." They say, "I understand why this exists, but here’s how we can improve it." Big difference.
Build Relationships Before You Enforce Rules
Influence is built on trust, and trust takes time.
Instead of forcing your authority, earn it. Spend your first few months demonstrating reliability by following through on small things before tackling big ones. You can’t demand trust or respect. You can only earn it.
Proactively support your executive so they see your value firsthand. Continue to meet with key team members to understand their roles and pain points. Be open to a new way of doing things. Solve problems. Rinse and repeat.
The people who resist change aren’t always being difficult. Sometimes, they just need to feel heard before they’re willing to adopt a new system.
Focus on Short-Term and Long-Term Wins
You will make an impact. But not all at once.
Short-term goals: Small, visible wins that show your value early on. Put out fires. Maybe it’s taking notes during a recurring meeting and providing everyone with their action items afterward to encourage goal progression. Maybe it’s getting one piece of the calendar under control, like ensuring the executive is home for dinner at least three nights a week.
Long-term goals: Structural changes that require buy-in and adjustment over time. Maybe it’s implementing a new scheduling system or revamping how internal communication flows.
Pick your battles wisely. You don’t have to fix everything at once.
Respect the Pace of Change
You don’t get to dictate the speed at which the executive team accepts you.
This one is hard to hear, but it’s true. You can be the most competent EA on the planet, but that doesn’t mean people will automatically adapt to your presence and processes on your timeline.
Some executives take months to trust their assistant fully. Some employees will take even longer to see you as a strategic partner rather than just "the new admin." That’s not a reflection of you—it’s just human nature.
Final Thoughts
No one hires an EA because everything is running perfectly. You were brought in because there’s work to do. But how you approach that work makes all the difference.
If you charge in like a bull, demanding immediate respect and authority, you’re going to meet resistance—and you might find yourself out of a job before you even get a chance to prove your worth.
But if you approach your new role like a farmer—observing, building relationships, planting seeds, and respecting the natural pace of change—you’ll set yourself up for long-term success.
Because at the end of the day, the best assistants don’t just tame chaos—they create sustainable order.
And that, my friends, is how you build a career. 🌱