Stop Expecting Your EA to ‘Tame the Chaos’: Here's What You Actually Need
DEFINITION of TAME:
(v) to reduce from a state of native wildness, especially so as to be tractable and useful to humans.
(v) to bring under control, made docile or submissive.
I hear this request from senior executives all the time: "I need an assistant who can tame the chaos."
And I get it—your professional life might feel like an absolute tornado.
You’re overextended, drowning in last-minute requests, and desperately need someone to control the uncontrollables.
Maybe you’ve waited too long to get support, or maybe you inherited a mess when stepping into your role.
Whatever the reason, I understand.
But… (and you knew there was going to be a but…) when you tell me—an Assistant recruiter—that you need a chaos tamer, I have no idea what that means.
And, if we’re being honest, I don’t think you do either.
The truth is, that phrase is vague, unrealistic, and ultimately unhelpful.
Here’s why saying “I need someone who can tame the chaos” will actually hurt your hiring process—and what to say (and hire for) instead.
Taming Chaos Takes Time—Putting Out Fires Happens Fast
Your assistant will absolutely put out fires. Within weeks of starting, they’ll be:
troubleshooting your travel nightmares
executing last-minute team events with surgical precision
and somehow convincing that one perpetually late executive to send in their report on time.
But if you’re expecting your EA to "tame the chaos" in three months—or even six—then let me lovingly ask: Are your expectations realistic?
You didn’t fix your entire organization in 90 days—why should they? Especially if you haven’t invested the time to onboard them properly and set them up for success.
We need time to understand the mess inside your brain, then translate it into a system that works for both of us. Rushing this process is like planting a tree and getting mad that it hasn’t grown in a week.
Before you complain that they haven’t “cleaned everything up yet,” ask yourself:
Did I give them full access to key information and necessary systems?
Have I not given them the authority to implement real change?
Am I shifting priorities so often that stability is impossible?
If you’re not sure, ask your EA.
You’re Asking for a RESULT, Not an ACTION or SKILL.
When you say you want someone who can tame the chaos, you’re describing an outcome. But in hiring, you need to look for the skills and experience that lead to that outcome.
On top of that, the phrase “taming chaos” is vague.
To you, taming chaos might mean streamlining financial processes and setting up better reporting. To someone else, it might mean getting a CEO’s calendar under color-coded control. To another, it could mean reorganizing the leadership team’s entire communication flow.
Identify what your world actually looks like and what kind of assistant will thrive in it. What skills and expertise are essential?
No two assistants are the same—some are strategic partners, others are operational masterminds or event planning extraordinaires. So, let's find the right person based on their actual capabilities (not some mythical ability to bend chaos to their will).
Assistants Can’t Tame the Humans Who Create the Chaos.
Sometimes the chaos isn’t about systems—it’s about people.
Maybe it’s the executive who never plans ahead.
Or the board member who thrives on last-minute requests.
Or the team that overcomplicates the simplest decisions.
And unfortunately, the ability to control other people’s insanity does not exist.
(And if it ever does, I want to be the first to know.)
What your assistant can do is build relationships, understand individual working styles, and offer solutions to make things more efficient. But let’s be real: if you’ve been battling the same chaos-inducing habits from certain people for years, don’t expect your EA to swoop in and change them overnight—especially if they don’t have the authority to do so.
So before you expect your assistant to "tame the chaos," ask yourself:
Is the chaos actually within their control?
Or is it a cultural/leadership issue that requires an executive-level intervention?
If it’s the latter, your EA can certainly support the effort, but the responsibility doesn’t rest solely on them.
Don’t Ask if You’re Not Willing to Help.
Say it with me:
Bringing your chaos under control depends on YOU spending time with your assistant.
If you hire an EA but don’t invest in onboarding them, don’t communicate your expectations clearly, and don’t make yourself available for regular check-ins, you’re setting them up for failure.
You can’t just drop someone into your mess and expect them to fix it from the outside. The best executive-assistant partnerships work because they’re built on trust, clarity, and collaboration.
So if you truly want someone to help create order in your world, be prepared to:
Spend dedicated time with them—especially in the first 90 days.
Give them the information, context, and authority they need to make real decisions.
Commit to real communication, not just “Hey, can you fix this” emails.
Be open to feedback (because if your assistant is good, they’ll have some for you too).
The Bottom Line: Skip the Unicorn. Hire Strategically.
Hiring an elite assistant will absolutely make your life easier, more efficient, and a whole lot less chaotic. But they’re not superheroes, and they’re not mind-readers.
So before you ask for a "chaos tamer," let’s get real:
Do you know what specific problems you want solved?
Are you willing to invest in the relationship?
Are you giving them the access and authority to actually make change happen?
Because if not, what you’re asking for isn’t an assistant—you’re asking for a miracle worker.
And while assistants make miracles happen every. single. solitary. day., it’s our quick thinking, resourcefulness, and deep well of experience that make it look effortless—not magic.
If you want real, lasting change, you need to invest in the process, not just hope for a miracle.
And if you’re ready for a real partner in success? Let’s talk. This is what I do.